From Resolution to Habit

Little-known tricks to help you go about habit formation

Every year on January 1st, everyone is buzzing with ideas for what they want out of the new year; the lofty goals they wish to accomplish, why this year it will actually happen, and how wonderful they’ll feel being “that girl” in a few month’s time.

The first week of January is off with a bang. Everyone is pushing themselves hard at the gym, they’re journaling like pros, they have the best work-life balance…

…then, something happens.

Your dog suddenly needs to go to the vet the afternoon of your pilates class, or your cousin is in town for dinner at a restaurant off of your meal plan. You give yourself the concession, reluctantly, and in doing so, lose the momentum you’ve been gaining. You no longer think of yourself as “that girl” because “that girl” doesn’t miss her pilates class. You start to feel like a tryer, not a doer, and since tryers don’t complete things, you let your new habits slowly slip into the rushing tide of your day-to-day.

1) Start with bite-sized chunks

Not only to get your mind and body used to your new change, but to build up your sense of self-efficacy by getting in the habit of keeping promises to yourself. Your sense of self-efficacy is basically your belief that you can follow through with things- and it is essential to reaching your goals.

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy; you believe you can do things, so you do them; as you do more things, your belief in your ability to do them grows.

Self efficacy will determine how tightly you’ll hold onto your goal when life gets in the way. This is an important skill to develop that will have an influence over all areas of your life. Nurture it.

Small things you can do to build your sense of self efficacy?

• Tell yourself you’re going to turn off Netflix at 10pm, and actually do it.
• Decide you’re going to go on a 10 minute walk after dinner and go on that walk.
• Tell yourself you’re just going to have one serving of that crunchy snack and don’t exceed that amount.

You get the picture. Your promises can be as small as you want them to be- just be sure you can definitely follow them.

2) Craft a strategic “why”

Be sure your “why” is not coming from a place of self hatred or feelings of not being enough. If it is, each day when you pick up that dumbbell or measure that food item or do that good deed, you’re going to look to that feeling of being inadequate to motivate you through those activities- and that gets draining.

If your “why” sounds like a “I will be lovable when _____”, “I will be worthy of x when ___”, then try something:

Think of something you like about yourself and let that fill you with feelings of pride. Breathe into that feeling a few times. Allow it to inspire your new why; “I’m awesome so I’m going to reward myself with (moving my body so I feel good, eating nourishing foods, doing an act of kindness to show the world how awesome I am, etc.)”.

Go back to that feeling every time you embark on your new habit and soon you will build a positive association with it.

3) Think hard about your why not

Be realistic with yourself. Is this goal something you think you “should” be doing but you actually hate it? What does your life look like right now? Think about whether this aligns with your passions and schedule. Be honest with yourself about who you are and who you are not.

And, for the love of god give up what you are not.

If running for 45 minutes each morning has been your resolution for the past three New Years, but your love for extra sleep has always won over your desire for consistency, maybe it is time to look for another way to get your cardio in.

You’ve always loved dancing, why not try an afternoon dance class?

4) Pair it with something you crave

Behavioral scientist Katy Milkman, author of How to Change: The Science from Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be coined the term, “temptation bundling”. It’s this hack for when your new habit really is something you should be doing, and you do hate it; in order to get your brain to crave it, try pairing the habit with something you crave.

For example, if your doctor insists you do 150 minutes of cardio per week, make your treadmill time the only time you get to watch your favorite show, that way, you’d need to go to the gym to know what happens next. Or, perhaps you love the scent of a certain candle- make your meditation time the only time you light it.

This won’t work for every resolution, but it will work for many. Get creative! You don’t have to feel like you’re suffering in order to earn the positive results of a new habit.

5) Make a Plan B from the very beginning

The incredible life coach, Kara Lowentheil, did a podcast on this concept a couple of weeks ago. When setting goals for yourself, you need a Plan B– here’s why.

Picture this, it’s January 1st, you decided this year you were going to stick to that 60 minute, 5 days per week workout plan from that popular influencer. This is your year to get in shape, and all of these messages are popping up on your feed about how people don’t stick to resolutions because they “don’t want it badly enough”-

-but you want it bad. You’re going to stick with it.

And for the first week of January, you do.

The second week comes around, you have a strong start- then your boss goes on vacation and needs you to pick up more projects at work. Your work days are jammed trying to finish everything before 5pm so you can make it to your after-work session at the gym.

When you get off, your spouse tells you they needed to stay late at work and now someone needs to get the groceries for dinner. An extra hour added to your night that you didn’t expect.

At this point, you’re frazzled. You can’t think of a quick solution in the moment…

…you decide not to let your partner down, and you skip the gym and head to Fry’s. You beat yourself up about it for the rest of the night and your sense of self-efficacy slowly decreases

All of this could have been prevented with your plan B.

When you sit down to write out your goals, sit down and brainstorm what you would do if life got in the way (as it inevitably will). Look up a shorter workout in case time becomes an issue, decide on a healthy meal at your cousin’s favorite restaurant in town, look into 5 minute meditations instead of your preferred 11 minute one.

Have them ready.

This will come in handy when you’re in the midst of a stressful situation, when you can’t come up with an alternative off the cuff. You’ll walk away having done a percentage of what you said you’d do, instead of none of it, still feeling accomplished, and self efficacy in tact.

In short, remember that life is unpredictable. “That girl” might sometimes miss her pilates class. The thing that makes her so admirable is not her ability to live a flawless, unbothered life, it’s her unrelenting drive to keep going in a positive direction, no matter how many detours she needed to take.